Seit dem Start von tumblr vor mittlerweile drei Jahren sprießen die meist wortkargen Blogs mit irrsinnigen und häufig zugleich atemberaubenden Bildern wie Unkraut aus dem Boden. Ob abgespaced oder kunstvoll angehaucht, es dürfte für jeden Geschmack etwas dabei sein.

Nun lassen wir es uns doch nicht nehmen, in die Bloggosphäre einzutreten und der Welt mitzuteilen, was es heißt, das Prädikat “brenkster” tragen zu dürfen. Ihr dürft mit täglichen – ach was sag ich – stündlichen Updates in Form von Bildern und Videos rechnen, die euch förmlich “fuck yeah, das ist brenkster!!” entgegen schreien!

Lasst uns gemeinsam herausfinden, wie lange wir den Daten Einhalt gebieten können und besucht uns regelmäßig unter folgender Adresse:

fuckyeahbrenkster.tumblr.com

Das System läuft bereits auf Hochtouren. Lassen wir also die Leitungen brennen!

Sehr geehrte Frau PayneMachine2001

über Ihr Mailkonto wurden ca. 1.75 Mio E-Mailadressen bespammt.
Wir sahen uns gezwungen als Sofortmaßnahme über Änderung des Mailkontopasswortes die Einlieferung zu unterbinden.

Bitte prüfen Sie, wie es zu diesem SPAM-Vorfall kommen konnte.
Hinter der einliefernden IP-Adresse läuft ein Mailserver.
Da dieser kein offenes Relay ist, vermuten wir einen trojanerinfizierten PC oder ein gehackter Mailkonto auf Ihrem Mailserver.

Melden Sie sich bitte auf jeden Fall und teilen Sie uns die Ergebnisse Ihrer Recherchen mit (zzgl. Ihrer Aktionen).
Anschließend kann das gesperrte Mailkonto durch Setzen eines neuen Passworts im KIS wieder in Betrieb genommen werden.

Positiver Weise sollte man anmerken dass wir die viralen Möglichkeiten die sich durch dieses Hacking ergeben haben, keinesfalls unterschätzen. 1,75 Mio Leute erreiche ich normalerweise nur wenn ich 3 Wochen lang meine Toilettenspülung nicht benutze.

Und als wäre das nicht schon schön genug, dürfen wir auch noch mit Freude feststellen, dass sich unsere Leidenschaft für Cyber Punk/Tech Noir und allem  was damit verbunden ist, ganz und gar selbstständig macht. Dies kann man, wieder einmal, anhand unseres Rechenzentrums feststellen.

* Was muss ich als Kunde jetzt tun? *
Wie bereits gesagt, scannen Sie zuerst Ihre PCs/Rechner.
Leider können Sie den Daten Ihres Webspaces nicht mehr vertrauen.

Unser System macht sich selbstständig und wendet sich gegen uns? Na ist denn heut’ schon Blade Runner?

Ich befürchtete ja zunächst dass der Hackangriff Mails im Stile der üblichen Verdächtigen verschickt. Sprich “Vi4gg’r/-\”, “Your Penis is too small”, “My Pänies is too small, just so you know”, “Frieden auf der Welt”. Zum beruhigenden Glück ist es keines von diesen. Sogar ganz im Gegenteil, unser Hacker ist wesentlich gerissener zugange.

Dear Friend,

As you very well know, Iraq is gradually undergoing a rebuilding process in some parts and there is much need for reconstruction. I am Adam Spargo from the hospitality state (Mississippi), an army contractor attached to the US Military force for the sole purpose of Reconstruction works in some parts of Iraq. I evaluate the level of destruction and offer professional advice inline with the way they intend rebuilding. With no doubt, work has been risky and challenging as we sometimes collide head on with armed insurgents and loose some soldiers during confrontation.

On the early hours of 4th May 2010 I lost a friend whom I had known for 12years during one of these confrontations. It was a very sad day but at about 1100hrs during a normal inspection routine along Haifa Street, built and occupied by the late Saddam Hussein while he was still alive and one of the hide outs of the Al Qaeda and Ayman al-Zawahiri forces. I, along side with 2 soldiers proceeded to a marked site and as I commenced evaluation under close guard by the 2 soldiers, I discovered an unusual bulge in a cellar, which I presumed to be storage room and as I proceeded to have a closer look at it, I kicked a metal covering and found several metal boxes (6 in number) Piled on top each other and locked with a padlock. On forcing the boxes open, we discovered several armored weapons including bullets. One of the boxes was filled with hard drugs (heroine) and two to my amazement was filled with money. Though this is not the first time this kind of occasion is taking place here in Baghdad.

On discovery of this money, I and the soldiers for hours counted bundles of the currencies which amounted to about $23.5M. I believe however that all these belongs to the Al Qaeda and Ayman al-Zawahiri forces, and because of this reason, I instructed the soldiers with me to handover all the boxes containing the drugs and amours to our superiors in the US army and agreed to keep the funds to ourselves, so as to help establish ourselves when we return from Iraq. Presently, we have the money hidden in a safe and untraceable location only known to us.

Why I am explaining all our findings to you is to seek for your assistance and immense contribution to the actualization of our dream of getting these funds out from here. We are in desperate need of a reliable and trustworthy person who will receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the money for us until our assignment ends here. Since Iraq is getting unsafe and more dangerous everyday especially upon the departure of large number of US Military troop, however, as contractors we are still here, but we cannot afford to leave these boxes here in Iraq for any reason and knowing fully well that these were funds used in sponsoring terrorist attacks on our innocent humans. We have no idea what could happen next. This is a true story of what we came across here in Iraq. I intend to include some pictures I took here and my ID’s issued by the US army and government for you to know better whom you are dealing with but I will include that in my next email to you. I assure and promise to give you 25% of this

My Sincere Regards,

Adam Spargo.

Hach ja… Geld machen auf Kosten von Kriegsopfern, Hungersnot und dem Leiden und den Schmerzen von Menschen in Kriegsländern. Wie edel. Unser Hacker ist kein Vollidiot, er ist einfach nur ein bösartiges, widerwärtiges kleines Dreckblag.

Verstecke dich lieber, Hacker! Sollte ich dich finden gibt es Hardcore Eierklatsche™! For real!

Bis dahin kann es nur der Goddamn Batman am besten sagen…

Nasty…

What’s the price for being happy?
How could I possibly brawl for something?
And where is it going to leave me,
When I finally end up with nothing?

CHORUS:
Everything that I have done… it just all led up to nothing.
After all the debts I’ve paid… I would have hoped for something.

Let me put up with your burden.
In the end, what do you want me to be?
Blood licking and sorrow tonguing?
Goddamn, I’m so afraid to see.

How far to go until I am happy?
When will it stop feeling like nothing?
In the end, where does it all leave me,
when I finally end up with something?

CHORUS:
Everything that I have done… it just all led up to nothing.
After all the debts I’ve paid… I would have hoped for something.

And Rejoicingly I’m starting to pray,
that these excruciations would just die away.
But for long my emotions are gone.
Yet I know that Venlafaxine has finally won.

Everything that I have done… it just all led up to nothing.
(Rejoicingly I’m starting to pray…)
After all the debts I’ve paid… I would have hoped for something.
(That these excruciations would just die away.)
Everything that I have done… it just all led up to nothing.
(But for long my emotions are gone…)
After all the debts I’ve paid… I would have hoped for something.
(Yet I know that Venlafaxine has finally won.)

Finally gone.

Gone…

“Iconic” is the appropriate word, but take a look at what I’ve tinkered in my chamber of creativity!

Another idea was to create a frontcover for the imaginary (as yet!) Brenkster Tools magazine, with a summary of all our recent blog posts – in a gossip manner. But on a high level, with all that goes with it, covergirls and all the shit.

Here is my first draft, even if I don’t like it. It’s definitely NOT brenkster. Yeah, brenkster is an adjective.

I love my second try as much more, it appeales so much minimalist, sophisticated and smoothing. Totally brenkster!

If it’s going well I’ll try to do such things regularly. Oh, and remember: all these works will be published on Flickr!